My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
