You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
then he tried to convert me to islam
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
