Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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