I'm drive I can fine osifer
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
