If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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