You just made me feel so damn special
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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