It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The power of my boobs compel you
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
