I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
