we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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