If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You may now shotgun with the bride
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
