I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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