No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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