i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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