just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
