no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
there was a trapeze. enough said
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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