You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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