I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
