Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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