So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
