Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
