worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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