So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
