Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
