4 words: hood of his car
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
