Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's rum buckets o'clock
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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