I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
