My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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