You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
