Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
