In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
