I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My cat gives me a boner
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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