the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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