no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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