i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
