I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
