4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
