just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
