new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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