I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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