and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
