Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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