yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
