Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
