dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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