I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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