9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
