I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
