thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm like, not good at living.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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