just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
