lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
