i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
