i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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